Fill the gaping holes in your life by buying our stuff!

100% of merchandise sales go towards ordering new equipment, replacing old equipment, and paying our rent.

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Original Logo Poster
$13.00
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Super Swordsman Poster
from $10.00
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Unicorn Progression Artwork
$15.00
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Rhino Progression Artwork
$15.00
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Narwhal Progression Artwork
$15.00
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"I am no man" Poster
from $10.00
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Hilt and Helm Key Chains/Bottle Opener!
$5.00
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Hilt and Helm Playing Cards
$10.00
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Armed and Fabulous Sticker
$5.00
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Gay and Reckless! Holographic Sticker
$5.00
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"THE BEE STING!" Holographic sticker
$5.00
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"You can't think about your personal problems ..." Sticker!
$5.00
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Version 2 of the Hilt and Helm Sticker: Holographic Sweetness
$5.00
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Hard to Kill Series of Stickers
$5.00
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We're Here, We're Queer, and We Will Stab You Sticker
$5.00
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I AM NO MAN Sticker
$5.00
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Militant Cabal of Violent Queers Sticker
$5.00
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Less Blab More Stab Sticker
$5.00
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Patches
$10.00
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Hilt and Helm Patch Version 2.0!
$10.00
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Gay and Reckless Patch!
$10.00
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I AM NO MAN Patch
$10.00
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Very Hard to Kill Patches
$10.00
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Militant Cabal of Violent Queers Patch
$10.00
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Less Blab More Stab Patch
$10.00
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Hilt and Helm Stud Earrings
$15.00
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Hilt and Helm Necklace
$15.00
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Hilt and Helm Necklace and Earring Combo!
$25.00
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Hilt and Helm Enamel Pins!
$15.00
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Hilt and Helm Drawstring bag
$20.00
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Version 2.0 of the Hilt and Helm T-Shirt!
from $25.00
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Militant Cabal of Violent Queers T-Shirt
$25.00
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Easy to Kill Narwhal T-Shirt
$25.00
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Gay and Reckless T-Shirt
$25.00
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Hilt and Helm T-Shirt
$25.00
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Very Hard to Kill Unicorn T-Shirt
$25.00
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Hard to Kill Unicorn T-Shirt
$25.00
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Easy to Kill Unicorn T-Shirt
$25.00
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I Am No Man T-Shirt
$25.00
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Very Hard to Kill Rhino T-Shirt
$25.00
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Hard to Kill Rhino T-Shirt
$25.00
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Easy to Kill Rhino T-Shirt
$25.00
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Very Hard to Kill Narwhal T-Shirt
$25.00
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Hard to Kill Narwhal T-Shirt
$25.00
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Personal Problems T-Shirt
$25.00
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We Will Stab You "uwu" T-Shirt - Transgender Pride Variant
$25.00
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We Will Stab You "uwu" T-Shirt - Gay Pride Variant
$25.00
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We Will Stab You "uwu" T-Shirt - Bisexual Pride Variant
$25.00
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We Will Stab You "uwu" T-Shirt - Asexual Pride Variant
$25.00
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We Will Stab You T-Shirt - Transgender Pride Variant
$25.00
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We Will Stab You T-Shirt - Gay Pride Variant
$25.00
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We Will Stab You T-Shirt - Bisexual Pride Variant
$25.00
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We Will Stab You T-Shirt - Asexual Pride Variant
$25.00
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Less Blab More Stab!
$25.00
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Seal of Steel T-Shirt
$25.00
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Men's Joggers
$45.00
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Damn! You Scary! Unicorn T-Shirt
$25.00
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Damn! You Scary Rhino T-Shirt
$25.00
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Damn You Scary Narwhal T-Shirt
$25.00
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Super Swordsman Rhino T-Shirt
$25.00
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Unicorn Super Swordsman T-Shirt
$25.00
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Narwhal Super Swordsman T-Shirt
$25.00
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Militant Cabal of Violent Queers Black Text T-Shirt
$25.00
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Hilt and Helm New Logo T
$25.00
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Hilt and Helm Stainless Steel Water Bottle!
$25.00
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Hilt and Helm Water Bottle!
$25.00
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